The longest study on human happiness tells us the greatest determinant of happiness is the quality and warmth of our relationships. Beginning in 1938, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has explored many aspects of human existence as they relate to health and happiness, monitoring the lives of 724 initial participants plus 1300 of their descendants. The finding that meaningful relationships hold the greatest influence over health and happiness begs us to examine barriers to true connection in our lives, and in caring for oneself, pursue ways to overcome these barriers and focus intentionally on fostering relationships.
Barriers to connection, whether internal or external, abound. External barriers relate to surrounding circumstances such as time, context, aspects of other people with whom we are connecting, and more. It’s possible to intentionally create environments in support of connection, such as setting aside time and assuring a comfortable environment, but many factors remain out of one’s control. Internal barriers to connection arise from thoughts, experiences, attitudes, and perceptions about oneself and others, influencing openness to connection and relationship building. In this complex and nuanced area of human experience, one may find fear of rejection, low self-esteem, low self-efficacy surrounding communication and relationship building, trauma, and many other factors. Additional internal barriers to connection include physical pain, stress, anxiety, and distraction, all of which pose the potential to detract from open, vulnerable time with another person.
Floating offers the opportunity to rest and spend time with oneself, including becoming aware of those thoughts and perceptions that might influence connection with others. What inner work can be done to reduce and eliminate long-held patterns that reduce the ability to connect? Particularly when partnered with work with a therapist, delving into these spaces is, while potentially challenging, also deeply meaningful for one’s happiness and well-being.
Emerging from a float feeling rested, relaxed, and renewed with a touch of insight to the self is quite a time to sit across from a friend or loved one to share a meal. Perhaps, for your next float, you might consider arranging dinner and a walk together afterwards. Your happiness is real, your happiness matters, and reaching out to that person across the table is of benefit to you both.
